The Hostess

    It has been a week since the hostess officially, in the eyes of the law, became a real woman.  My plan originally involved banging her on the day of her entry into adulthood.  Unfortunately for me at that moment in time, she had taken a bit of a liking to my friend Mike.  Mike is quite a character.  He is my good friend and we have almost nothing in common.  At the time he was only 19, a musician, and possessed a look that can be described best as heroin chic.  On the other hand, I was 27, not a musician, and possessed a look that can be described most accurately as Van Damme in Bloodsport.  The point is that she was more interested in him than myself and as a result, he was the chosen one to christen her on her 18th birthday.  I, being the great friend that I am, congratulated him and was nothing but happy for his recent success.
   It only took a couple of days for Mike to get really bored and he soon informed that I had the green light to try whatever I wanted and that he was no longer interested in her.  I let him know that I had no qualms with scrapping it up a little bit and I would give it another go.  I knew that this time, I would have to be especially diabolical if I were to make things work in my favor.....so I came up with a plan.
    That Friday, I invited the hostess over to my house to "hang out for a bit".  The very first thing that she asked me was, "Is Mike going to be there?"  "Well, of course Mike is going to be there!",I replied enthusiastically.  I lied.  Mike had no plans of being there and knew my real intentions.  What a great friend.  "God forgive me for this," I thought as I walked away from the hostess, excited about what may possibly lay ahead.
    On the way to my house, she made it a point to tell me how crazy she was about Mike. "Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, blah blah blah."  I tried not to listen too hard to her rant because I did not want to be discouraged.  We arrived at my house and I told her that Mike was on his way.   He wasn't.  I decided to discreetly display my higher value by showing her pictures of my travels around the world and all of my action shots that involved me doing something really cool.  I kept pretending to call Mike to see where he was at and began to show signs of disappointment that he was gonna "leave me hanging."  "What's wrong with that guy?"  "Why would he leave US hanging like that?"  "Damn you Mike!".
    My plan slowly started to come into fruition.  After several displays of how awesome I am, she soon became smitten.  Upon realizing that Mike was most probably not going to make it, she moved in closer to me, with her leg basically resting upon mine.  Without any further word, we began making out on my bed.  She felt my boner and got a little scared, I think, because she abruptly stopped and told me that she had to go to the bathroom real quick to brush her hair.  I am not making this up.  She got up to go to the bathroom and I followed her in there because I had to take a piss.  I whipped it out right in front of her and she replied by stating, " Let's take a shower together but you can't fuck me, OK? "  "Of course", I answered.  I knew at that point that it was green light all the way.

    I will not go into detail on everything that happened but it was most definitely a good time.  I am proud that I did not accept no for an answer and that I found a way to get what I wanted.  Although some would consider my actions a little slimy, I would simply reply that I did what I had to do to get what I wanted.  I did not stab Mike in the back so I did not violate the bros vs hoes policy.  I did not make her have sex with me, I just made her want to have sex with me.  For these reasons, I can definitely sleep soundly at night.

Yes, Mike will be here any minute. Ha ha ha ha ha