It's 830 at night. The club doesn't start poppin till about 11. You have already had about a six pack and plan on having about six more before you even step one foot inside the club. Gotta pre-game. Gotta get that liquid courage going. As time goes on it gets closer to game time and you decide you better start really getting ready for the night. You reach into the bottom of your clean clothes pile and pull out your money shirt, blue with black stripes, and a barely noticeable grease stain by the collar. It is a bit on the wrinkled side but you figure things will eventually just iron themselves out. Not to mention that you have had a little too much to drink and the idea of ironing isn't sitting quite well at the moment. You decide to bypass the shower and decide to just throw on a little more deodorant and cologne. Ahh, that should do it. You look in the mirror and see a total stud looking back. Your drunk.
You arrive at the club and realize that your money shirt looks like half the money shirts already in the club. You catch a slight whiff of yourself. Is that vodka and onions? Not sure, I don't remember having onions today. Oh well, you're too drunk to care. A girl behind you gives you a look and you give her a look back. You try to make conversation but begin to realize that everything that is coming out of your mouth is hot garbage. Your also noticeably drunk. She notices. She goes dry. You finally get inside the club and realize after a few lengthy yawns that the only thing that will save you is another drink. On the way to the bar, you notice that your shirt stain is quite visible now, underneath the black light. Your brain has slowed way down from all the alcohol you consumed beforehand. Liquid courage turns into liquid retardedness. You make attempts to holler at a couple girls but they all give you the same creepy stare. You think they smell the onions?
The night winds down and you find yourself and your crew at Dennys. It is 3 in the morning and you have to be to work at 8. You and your friends are a mess. The conversation is typical. "Man, that place was a sausage fest." "The girls in this town are so lame, I just don't get it." Wah wah wah. You look around and notice that Dennys is full of people that are most probably not going to get laid tonight. You take a few seconds and go deep inside your own head. Why am I here? Where did I go wrong? Why am I not balls deep in something nice right now? Your mind begins to spin as you think of all the things you could've done to at least improve your chances of improving your night and breaking free of the same tired routine. You get a little angry and disappointed in yourself. Channel this disappointment into something positive the next time. Realize that some things in life take a little bit extra and believe that you are capable of getting what you want out of life. Understand that it is not too late to be different....better. Now go home, dust yourself off, and get some rest.
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